


Stay With Me

by KrisLetang



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, F/M, Gun Violence, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Pain, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:08:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24451120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisLetang/pseuds/KrisLetang
Summary: A situation at the courthouse causes Barba and Benson to be unable to go on their first date.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 91





	Stay With Me

He was wearing polka dot socks. They were socks that Liv had bought him one Christmas, and now that he was thinking about it, he wasn’t sure if they really matched his outfit, but they were supposed to go out for coffee later, and he wanted to wear them. They were still startlingly white, clean and new, a pair that he saved for special occasions. 

He was staring at his left sock, the way the fabric clung tight to his foot, peeking out from under his grey slacks. He’d lost his shoe somehow, and he distantly wondered where it’d gotten to. His right foot was all put together, the dark brown shoe clean and tied neatly, barely an inch of his sock visible as it disappeared from his pant leg into the dark leather. 

He looked around in front of him the best he could, but his vision was slightly blurry. That was when he saw the smear of red beside his hip, and his whole body contracted with pain. He gasped desperately for air, trying to breathe, but he couldn’t seem to clear the dizziness. His fingers scrabbled at the ground, trying to find something to hold onto, but they kept slipping against the cold tile. 

This was not how things were supposed to be going. He was supposed to be leaving the courthouse now to meet Liv at Starbucks for their first official date, but instead, he was laying on the floor, in a world of pain, the edges of his vision going black. He felt like he was going to pass out, his head feeling fuzzy. Maybe if he passed out, it wouldn’t hurt so badly anymore. 

He was having trouble pinpointing the pain, it felt like his body was aching with it, and he couldn’t move very well. Each new movement brought on a fresh wave of agony, so he tried to stay as still as he could. The blood was rushing through his ears, and he heard nothing but white noise until he saw her face. At the first touch of her hand, he flinched, but when she saw her soft eyes, the concern on her face, he felt a little bit better. “L-Liv,” he gasped, barely recognizing his own voice. “Liv?” 

“I’m here,” she said softly, and he could tell that she was trying to stay calm. “Rafa, keep your eyes on mine. It’s alright. Help is coming. You’re not alone.” He tried to do as she said, but it was really difficult to keep his eyes open. They were drooping shut every few seconds, and he kept trying to force them back open. “This is going to hurt,” Liv said softly, and suddenly everything hurt so badly that his vision went white, and he writhed around on the ground, his body feeling like it was absolutely on fire. “Sorry, Rafa, I’m so sorry.” 

After the initial burst of pain, it settled down enough that he didn't feel like he was dying, but he was on the edge of losing consciousness. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could make it. The pain was so bad that he thought he might be sick. Liv’s hands were firm, pressing hard right under his left pec. “Rafael, listen to me, I need you to try something for me, can you do that?” 

He blinked her face into focus once more, and he could see that she was upset. He wanted to touch her. “M’okay,” he mumbled, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth. 

“That’s right, you’re going to be alright,” Liv said, and he could hear a slight tremble as he spoke. He just wanted to fix it. He felt one hand lift from his chest, and he gasped. “Sorry. I need you to press down where I put your hands, okay? Hard. As hard as you can. Even if it hurts. Can you try that for me?” He felt her take his hands and move them, but he weakly curled his fingers around her hand for a second. He needed that contact. He felt her squeeze back, and for just a moment, he thought he might be okay. “Right here. You need to press down hard,” Liv said softly, placing his hands for him. He did as she asked, doing his best. His body felt weak, his muscles rubbery, and it hurt like hell.

He wanted to reach up and touch Liv’s face. He had no delusions about his own mortality, and he could read her face like no one else. This was bad. He wanted just one chance to kiss her, but he couldn’t seem to raise his head. “L-Liv,” he gasped. 

“Shh, it’s alright. Don’t. Just try to stay awake for me,” she said softly. “I promise someone is going to help. They’ll be here any minute.” 

“L-Liv,” he tried again, but he started coughing, his whole body on fire. He couldn’t keep his eyes open after that, and as they started slipping shut, he heard the panic in Liv’s voice. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I’m…...tired.” 

“Rafa, come on, please,” her voice was watery, more scared than he’d ever heard it, but he couldn’t do anything to fix that. He moved his hand, groping for hers and squeezing as hard as he could when he found it. 

“L-L…” he didn’t get to finish, the darkness finally pulling him under. 

……………………….

It was loud, and he was freezing cold. He could feel hands on his body, and he could feel the strength of a hand in his own. It had to be Liv’s hand. He forced his eyes open, squinting at the assault of light. He could feel something on his face, but he was too tired to try and figure out what the hell it was. He searched desperately around the unfamiliar faces to find Liv, and when his eyes met hers, he felt relief coursing through his body. He was still in a world of pain, but he was obviously getting some sort of help. 

“Hey,” Liv’s voice was soft and soothing. “You’re in an ambulance, and I’m here. I won’t go anywhere. You’re going to be okay.” He could hear the pain and emotion in her voice, and he knew she would be trying like hell to disguise that, but he could hear it anyways. He felt her fingers in his hair, and that was a small comfort to him as his fingers squeezed hers tighter. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He felt like he needed to because he still wasn’t sure he was going to survive this, but when he found Olivia’s soft brown eyes, he felt better. “You know, Noah told me he has something to show you next time you’re over.”

He let himself just listen to her voice, doing his best to relax as she spoke to him, and soon he was feeling drowsy again. He wanted a respite from the pain because he’d never felt anything like it in his life. The way she was touching him was so soft and comforting. He squeezed her hand the best he could, eyes drooping. “Rafa,” Liv’s voice was soft. “Stay with me, please. We’re almost there, come on.” 

He was barely there anymore when he heard her voice one last time. “You have to stay, Rafa, please. I can’t lose you. I love you.” 

………………………….

Liv was sitting in the waiting room, trying not to fall apart. She was holding a coffee between her hands, sitting hunched over and wishing that there would be some news sometime soon. She couldn’t stand not knowing, wondering if some doctor was going to come out there and tell her her best friend was dead because some asshole decided to shoot up the courtroom. 

She’d been down the hall when it happened, trying to figure out where their witness had gotten too, but then the deafening shots had rung out, and she’d found herself running towards the room. Rafael had been on the floor, in front of the witness stand, one shoe sitting on the floor in front of him, blood quickly soaking through the fabric of his shirt. At first, she’d only seen the worse wound, the one on his chest, and she’d quickly been trying to get the damage under control while they waited for a bus, but then there had been a second wound, and he’d been forced to try and put pressure on that one himself. 

This was not how their day was supposed to go. They were supposed to go out for coffee later, a casual first date, but they were finally making the time for it and for each other. They were finally giving it a go, but everything was going wrong. Was this what she got for thinking she might finally be happy? Was this what happened to him? 

She wished that she had never left that courtroom. It had only been for five or ten minutes, but that was all it had taken for all hell to break loose. It was all it had taken for Rafael to be shot. When she’d been on the floor next to him, all she could think about was the night Alex was shot. She had felt that same fear, and even though Cabot hadn’t actually died, she’d left Liv’s life. She couldn’t lose anyone else. She was exhausted, but there was no way she was leaving the hospital. Not when he was still in surgery. She didn’t want to let him out of her sight ever again. 

She needed to call his Mom, but she was too distraught. She didn’t want to give the woman a heart attack. She knew she needed to do it sooner rather than later though. She took a deep, cleansing breath. His Mother needed to be here. Liv had his phone. The screen was smeared with blood, and it was locked. She didn’t personally have Lucia’s phone number, so she sent a text to Fin, asking him to look in the database and alert Lucia. It needed to be done. 

She was barely keeping herself together, slowly sipping her coffee as she sat there, all alone. She didn’t want to cry; she couldn’t because then she would fall apart, and she couldn’t do anything for Rafael. She couldn’t sit any longer then. She started to pace, unable to sit any longer. She knew she was in for a long wait. She just hoped she would still have her best friend at the end of it. 

…………………………….

Liv was half asleep when she saw Rafael’s doctor. She stood immediately. His mother was out of town, and on her way back, but she wouldn’t make it there until the next day at the earliest, so Liv wasn’t leaving the hospital any time soon. She couldn’t leave him there all alone. “Lieutenant Benson,” the man said, coming closer. “Rafael lost a lot of blood. We did everything we could, but there were a few complications. It’s going to be a little while before he’s back on his feet.” Liv’s let out the breath she’d been holding, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“He’s alive?” she asked. “He’s okay?” 

“He’s hanging in there. It’s going to be touch and go for a few days. If you’d like to come see him, he’s in the recovery room. He’ll be groggy, but he should wake up sometime soon. No stress though. He needs to rest,” the doctor said, and Liv nodded. 

“Please, I’d like to see him,” she said softly. She trailed after him until she was finally outside a little room where Rafael would be. She couldn’t wait any longer. She took a deep breath, enough to stay calm as she went into the room. He was laying down, looking deathly pale, but he was breathing, and that was enough for her. She pushed hair away from his eyes, kissing his forehead, and she was trying not to cry. 

He stirred after a while, blinking slowly, and she’d never been more grateful to see him in her entire life. He groaned softly, blinking, and Liv felt her heart pounding in her chest. “Rafa,” she whispered. 

“L-Liv?” he whispered, his voice hoarse. He was looking at her now. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she promised. 

“I-I’m alive?” he asked softly, and she laughed through her tears. She ran her hand over his hair again. 

“Yeah, I’m stuck with you,” Liv said. He laughed softly, wincing, and she shushed him. “It’s okay, just be quiet. You need to rest.” 

“Liv?” he whispered softly. 

“What?” she asked. 

“I love you too,” he whispered before shutting his eyes again. 

………………………….

Rafael was in a wheelchair. He was still recovering, but he was finally ready to go home. Liv was so glad. He was looking more and more like himself, more color in his face and more strength. His mother had been in and out, fussing over him until she needed to go back to work. Liv had been able to talk him into staying with her until he would be okay on his own. “Liv,” he said softly, and she stopped. 

“Hmm?” she asked. “Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, um. I just wanted to say thank you,” he said softly. “For staying with me the whole time. I needed you.” She rubbed her hand over his shoulder, squeezing gently. 

“Any time, Rafa,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss his temple. “Now, let’s get you home to rest.” 

Rafael caught her hand before she could start pushing him again, and she indulged him, winding her arms over his thick shoulders and around his neck. She leaned her face down, cheek beside his, and he turned his head for a kiss, their foreheads bumping. “Smooth,” she whispered, and he smirked, kissing her. “You still owe me a coffee date, loverboy,” she said after a second, and he laughed, smiling. 

“I promise,” he whispered. “And this time, I won’t get myself shot so you have to have to take care of me.” 

“Mhmm, sure you won’t Mr. Dramatic,” she said, kissing him one last time. “Come on.” 


End file.
